IWF Crime Watch - The Story of Masterdog

Well Hammys, I was so hoping that my first blog of 2014 would be a happy one, but unfortunately I have yet again been accused of the worst crime ever

*ALERT* CRIME IN PROGRESS - INTERNETTING WHILE FEMALE - SEND ALL TROLLS AND SPAMMERS IMMEDIATELY!!

Things have been super cold (it's Alaska in January, big surprise there) and I couldn't sleep any longer, so decided to log on and check some messages from my Hammys. And lo and behold what did I find?

Deleted

Oh happy day! A troll! Praise the Lord! Hello Masterdog! What wisdom do you have for me?

Let's see what I'm being accused of...
1) Being a girl - Guilty as Charged
2) Thinking I'm a Sex Goddess - Technically I'm still in training, but Guilty as Charged
3) Thinking I know everything about Guys - Did I say I knew it all? Innocent Until Proven Guilty
4) Being 19 years old - Guilty as Charged
5) Full of Bullshit - Jury is still out (?) <--- Yes this is sarcasm :-P

And what prompted this attack? Hmmmm let's lay all the cards on the table and see what horrible things I've been saying to Masterdog behind the scenes.

Deleted

OH MY GOD. Can you believe it Hammys?!?! Look at all those horrible things I've been saying to Masterdog! Wow. I really zinged him there. Poor guy didn't know what hit him. I mean, just look at those curse words I'm laying down. It's like the devil possessed me and I was speaking in tongues or something.

I guess I must have deserved all that anger and hatred to my page BY NEVER HAVING TALKED TO HIM EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Not one to leave well enough alone, Masterdog was kind enough to come back and spam me yet again after some of my friends came to my defense. (Thank you everyone, you guys & gals are the best!!)

So, just who is this incredible internet watchdog? (Or Masterdog, clearly he's finished his MBA from Troll & Spam School, so let's give credit where it's due, my apologies)

Deleted

Behold my Hammys! Your savior! A faceless male, 21 years of age! He's the everyman who has risen up from the tired porn deprived masses to save you from.... me.

God bless you Masterdog! Yet another girl has been successfully attacked and spammed for the worst crime imaginable, IWF - Internetting While Female.

Thank you for reading this my Hammys, and thank you again to all my friends for supporting me without me even asking. You are awesome and wonderful and I'm so grateful for all of you.

Remember Hammys, Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires... um, I mean, flame wars, um, I mean trolls, um I mean... uh..... did I mention I have boobs?

Published by kellykins2u

11 years ago

Comments

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666Rhino 3 years ago

Now I'm upset. You've got boobs. Image shattered. : ) So sorry you have to deal with assholes like that. He needs to be taken outside and given a lesson in manners. What sad limp looser. Still we should all have sympathy with a guy who needs to find the tweezers just to have a wank.

st_john_green 8 years ago

Very well written indeed. I am laughing my ass off right now. Thanks lol.

wookie_man 9 years ago

Nice.

Thank You Kelly for Every Thing , You have always been a Blessing to me :-}

Masterdog... Miserybitch more like! I used to think Facebook was crawling with unchecked mental illnesses until recently. It's the same old sob story. They must have erectile dysfunction so that the only way they can reach the same level of excitement is by trolling themselves into a frenzy. Otherwise why worry about fake profiles when they dont even have a profile to speak of? Why not just log in, watch porn and then log out again?

Because droopy dick!

What a CHUMP. Well-written, Kelly. Ignore/block the trolls. They're NOT worth your time and effort.

9inchesoffunxxx 10 years ago

Masterdog should quit being a toll and instead start building more birdges

femalesonly 10 years ago

LMAO n grinning from ear to ear. I appreciate the shit out of your incredibly witty, sexy self. Keep it up, hot stuff!

Haha one of the best come backs to a troll I've seen! Well done Kelly and to all your friends who stuck up for you!!!

jack42 10 years ago

I am glad your not taking it too serious,some people need repaired.

bjf42 10 years ago

My bad. I meant While

bjf42 10 years ago

In your case Kelly IWF means Interesting White Female or Intelligent White Female. You never fail to make me smile. x

shawn1956 10 years ago

Nice blog

dickens1981 10 years ago

This, this right here makes my day.

OC420guy 10 years ago

LMFAO! Well written and hilarious.

lff900 10 years ago

That was awesome...sorry this idiot and many others like him have tried to beat you down...but again you have proven that your good nature and common sense (a trait sorely missing in major portions of society today) have better prepared you to take on this harsh, cruel world.

Congratulations!!! You ma'am are a genius.

nightskies 10 years ago

What a master of conversation and diplomacy this masterdog is, his oratory skills should be the stuff of legend (as much sarcasm as possible intended). But of course the owner of such a diverse profile is such an expert on the people of Xhamster that we should all just follow his lead (more sarcasm). Of course its hard to listen to a man (using that term loosely) who would be hard pressed to spell KY if asked, thank god for that block button. Once again, handled with humor and style, awesome job Kellykins.

jonboi18 10 years ago

Id like to punch him in the face upseting poor sweet Kellykin

looking4ladies 10 years ago

Got to love that block button to many lovely people on here to put up with a dog like him for more than one second

jonboi18 10 years ago

its a shame these people exist on here and other sites, thats the problem we all have to face when where on the internet it gives the keyboard warriors and hardmen the chance to bully and attack people without any real recourse for there actions and makes the rest off us look bad in the process. But I think you are doing a great job here in highlighting the plight of People as its not just women that get attacked online here and on other sites with your humor, dry wit and charm. keep safe and enjoy the friendships you have made on xhamster and enjoy the porn

edintx99 11 years ago

It takes a lot of poise and wisdom to master such a dog with humour. Good for you! (sorry, couldn't help the pun but the praise is still heartfelt!)

LickerLicense 11 years ago

I hate to ruin the mojo, but, just before I put this here, there were 69 comments. Teehee.

cumhereoften 11 years ago

I,for one,am grateful for the existence of this "Masterdog" person because without him this brilliantly hilarious blog would not exist!OK,OK,kellykins forbearance,intelligence and keen sense of humour may have had something to do with it. Probably the best laugh I will have today followed closely by "annapajamas" comment.

richmondtenofspades 11 years ago

Theres a considerable amount of win here. Hilarious!

JackEagle 11 years ago

No worries! You just keep being you and enjoy. Sometimes those that cannot have what they want, get their feelings and ego hurt. Might be how such an troll is born.

billeyed 11 years ago

Tits? I like em!

jingletheater 11 years ago

thats the job of troll, to fuck shit up for everyone and laugh about it.

moshe40 11 years ago

Kelly, I gues with all the members on xham there are bound to be a few wingnuts. He needs to go back to Kindergarten and learn how to play nicely with others. Obviously he's a Kinder dropout. Those who are blessed to be your friends love you.!

papabare84 11 years ago

Miss Kelly, I like the way you handled this ass clown. This blog made me smile. You are clearly awesome.

fiddler66 11 years ago

WTF? He is blocked, right? On my page too.