This is not hardcore...

ok... slightly lost it here... just a little... a little more than I really should... a lot more than I should have let myself...??? should I stop...??? quick check... woman... under me... face down to the bed... hair all over... rat tails... wet...??? her hair is wet... why is it wet...??? tears...??? she is crying... no... sobbing... great... heaving... sobs... I can see some of the hair being pulled into her mouth with every gasp... inhale enough of it and she could choke... should I care...??? no idea... because I do not care... problem solved... go back to scanning... I can see marks on her neck... and a lot of more of the same on her back... teeth...??? someone... no... I have bitten her... a lot... and the one on her right shoulder looks to have been bleeding... good shit... still sobbing... still heaving... spend a little while watching her hair again... in and out... in and out... CUNT... fuck me... I can feel her gripping me... gripping my cock... is that her throbbing or is it me...??? ok... I know who she is now... I know why I am fucking her... and I almost... not quite... know how I lost the plot... ~embraced~ the urge and just enjoyed myself...

okokok... this began this morning... the fucking... a little light cock sucking turned into skull fucking and from that... the fucking commenced... I remember bending her over the rail at the foot of her bed... getting a little carried away... feeling the head of my cock rubbing up along the side of her cervix... hitting something that will not get out of the way and feeling resistance... hearing her squeal... watching her hands... grip relax grip relax grip relax and grip again and deciding that right now is time to fuck her a little bit harder... a lot harder... seeing my foot on the back of her head... pressing her face into the quilt... the image slanted because I am bent from the hip... my two hands gripping the flesh between her own hip and ribs... feeling her struggle just a little before giving up the fight... using the energy she has left to make noise and hold tight... and me feeling just a little bit worried that I may have gone a little bit far with the “fuck me like you own me...” statement we had joked about beforehand... feeling a little bit worried that consensual non consent just reached a previously unknown limit then remembering her head on my chest afterwards... the tears having stopped... the sobbing subsided... her right hand almost playing with my left nipple... almost... and hearing something like calm in her voice as she mentions lunch... but that was this morning... that was how it started... how my head trip began...

and now...

back to now... food finished... coffee drunk... second cups brought up here with us... another bed now... another room... good intentions... her lay on her front again and me... at her calf... kissing... gentle kisses... dry lips... a flicker of tongue and my warm breath before moving onto the next patch of skin... and starting again... I am on my hands and knees... supporting myself... nothing of me apart from my mouth touching her... I am being nice... I know it... I can hear her breath... heavy rhythm... she is ~excited~ and I know this is good... top of her thigh now... I can smell her cunt... see the pool of her juice trapped in the well between thighs and buttocks... and the temptation to ~lick~ hard to overcome... be nice be nice be nice... tease... torment... this is for her... me saying I care... base of spine... lick... touch lips... move along... fingernails now stroking her shoulder... her side and my hand is in her hair... I lay on her back... rest for a while... intending to talk into her ear... tell her how good she feels... tastes... how much I want her... need her... how good it feels being inside her... the hard... pulsing thing called cock sandwiched between us... my stomach and her thighs and she is... moving... easing... lifting her hips and trying to get me back inside her... the fucker is groaning already... greedy cunt... it needs filling again... my teeth on her shoulder... same place as before... dry blood taste in my mouth and applying pressure... her groaning some more... louder and louder and louder again as the cock gets slotted and the teeth bite harder... raising her off the bed by her back... feeling something ~rip~ and the groan become a scream... that cunt... that wet and willing and greedy for me cunt gripping me harder again and suddenly... then... became... now... hands on her upper arms... gripping her back... nails digging in... raising myself up... hearing that sound again and beginning to shake her... hard... rattling her... fucking her and shaking her and hearing her cries... wet at both ends again... crying... ~panicked~ sounds... genuine fear... terror...??? and fuck but this is good... just that one thing... that sound... keening... pissing me of... whining noise from her mouth... it could have started as no but now... just noise... a****l... scared... in terror noise... I need to sort this now... fucking bitch... rippling my pond like this... ruining my happy time... it needs to stop... now... and as slaps go I guess it was hard... for sure hard enough... the flat of my hand on the back of her head... hair flying... jaw snapping closed... and it did make her stop or it could have been “SHUT UP” however I had to do it again... just one more time... because it felt soooooooooooooooooooo darned good... back to the brutal... both hands on her upper arms again... more shakes... ~punctuation~ more words... gritted teeth... voice cruel... low and nasty... “do” ~shake~ “not” ~shake~ “piss me off” ~shake~ “because I am close to losing it with you already” ~shakeshakeshakeshakeahake~ and just for the hell of it... fucking her just a little bit more... just a little bit longer... resisting the need to hurt her some more... scare her along a bit further... and somehow... as nice as it is... managing to not... withdraw... drag her up... on her knees... wanting that feeling again... that flesh on flesh... cock deep in cunt... beating her with the meat... nails again... either side of her spine this time... just above the hip bone... digging them deep... perhaps drawing blood... not really interested if I do not but hoping I can and she is crying again... real tears... fuck me but in floods... this been going on a while...??? only just noticed if it has... two wet patches in the bed... one from under her head... the other from the obvious... figure she is a bit wrecked now... her arms are sagging and that noise is coming back... time to change the pattern before she pisses me off again... withdraw... quick slip myself out from her... a popping noise as it happens... christ she was gripping me tight and “on the floor... ON THE FLOOR” with a gentle shove as added motivation... then a harder one because she was not moving quick enough... laying myself back... propped on one arm... looking at her... deciding... hearing the crying and seeing the sobs and letting her think I am angry... upset... disappointed... letting her calm... watching her breath.. seeing it slow and the tears dry up and her eventually... looking up... face as red as her eyes... hair in a shagmat... looking like shit... seeing my smile and saying “thank you...”

“fuck... you mean I held back for nothing...???”