BDSM 101.
I found this blog post on daisyann's page. Very good information here . Please enjoy. . .
daisyann's Blog
BDSM Master/slave blog on knowledge of the lifestyle
This will be my last blog of the night.
I am writing this because it needs to be written. I am all too aware of the fact that many are intensely curious about the dark erotic sensual pleasures that can be had from the BDSM lifestyle. So many questions...what to expect? What happens between master and slave/submissive? How does a submissive go about finding people in the lifestyle? How do people in the lifestyle behave? Allow me to be your guide. I am experienced as both a submissive and Domme and I can answer your questions and put your mind at ease.
BDSM play is very very special. For the new and unfamiliar the props...whips,chains,shackles...may seem quite scary but it is quite different then you think. The backbone of any and all master/slave/sub interaction is definitely trust. You have to trust the person you are giving yourself to and allowing to tie you up/restrain you/blindfold you,etc..and if you trust them then you can relax and completely surrender yourself to every wonderful sensation both mild and intense that BDSM play can offer. Done right,much of the play can literally take you out of body and you CAN cum without being penetrated. The scope of eroticism you can experience is limitless.
You may think that submissives are weak spineless people in real life but you would be surprised to know just the opposite is often true. You may find powerful people..lawyers,doctors,attorneys,CEOS...all submissive. How is that possible you ask? Simple...they have lives where they are always in control and they don't want that control in the bedroom. They want release and surrender.
There is a secret to BDSM. It may appear that the master/domme is in control but in fact its the sub. The master/Domme is not going to do anything not allowed by the sub. If they did the sub would not play with them later. Masters and subs need each other. If a master does things to a sub not allowed or previously discussed..if they cause serious harm to that sub..it goes against the lifestyle code of honor. Real honest to goodness masters and mistresses don't behave that way.
I am sorry to say that amongst the good people in the lifestyle there are fakes running around and they can ruin a good first time slave by giving them a first time bad experience. To protect all you curious first timers or future first timers i am going to tell you now what to look for and what to look out for.
Beware a "master" or "mistress" that claims to have experience but can provide no references. Beware also if they want to play with you but do not take time to get to know you and ask you questions regarding your likes/dislikes/limits and so forth. REAL Masters will conduct lengthy interviews with potential subs and grill them on EVERYTHING to find out what to do and what not to do to them. They will ask about sexual likes and any bad experiences...past lovers..they cover every base because BDSM is not about the physical its about the mental. It starts with the mind. You as a sub should be able to ask whatever question you like of your potential master or mistress,and if they don't or wont answer then do not play with them.
Beware also of a master or mistress who is quick to "collar" you..a real Dom or Domme NEVER does that. Collaring is serious business. Its the equivalent of an engagement ring. For the record,there are usually 3 collars a sub may wear..a temporary collar..in the beginning so when she is in masters presence all now she is his and other masters know to stay back...the semi permanent collar..a bit more serious..and the final commitment collar. Fake Dommes or Doms are quick to collar but the collar means nothing. Also,please be aware that these fake Doms prey on weak subs..and i hate to say this...but a lot of fake Doms target women of heavier size because they have no self esteem,don't get attention and will do anything to feel loved.A proper Dom will make you a better person,not keep you weak to abuse you for sadistic amusement.
As a sub i can tell you..Tied up,shackled,restrained..i never felt fear for my life with my my ONE. I knew i was completely safe. My pleasure came from pleasing him and letting go first and what he did to me second. As an adult entertainer i held a job that put me in the alpha position and so i needed release..and he gave it to me. The moment i would kneel at his feet and kiss his boot i would feel the thousand pounds of the weight of control fall from my body. BDSM IS about trust,loyalty,devotion in its most pure erotic sensual dark form. Those who serve have incredible freedom even in chains. Its a freedom most never get to know.
it is very late I will write more on this later.
daisyann's Blog
BDSM Master/slave blog on knowledge of the lifestyle
This will be my last blog of the night.
I am writing this because it needs to be written. I am all too aware of the fact that many are intensely curious about the dark erotic sensual pleasures that can be had from the BDSM lifestyle. So many questions...what to expect? What happens between master and slave/submissive? How does a submissive go about finding people in the lifestyle? How do people in the lifestyle behave? Allow me to be your guide. I am experienced as both a submissive and Domme and I can answer your questions and put your mind at ease.
BDSM play is very very special. For the new and unfamiliar the props...whips,chains,shackles...may seem quite scary but it is quite different then you think. The backbone of any and all master/slave/sub interaction is definitely trust. You have to trust the person you are giving yourself to and allowing to tie you up/restrain you/blindfold you,etc..and if you trust them then you can relax and completely surrender yourself to every wonderful sensation both mild and intense that BDSM play can offer. Done right,much of the play can literally take you out of body and you CAN cum without being penetrated. The scope of eroticism you can experience is limitless.
You may think that submissives are weak spineless people in real life but you would be surprised to know just the opposite is often true. You may find powerful people..lawyers,doctors,attorneys,CEOS...all submissive. How is that possible you ask? Simple...they have lives where they are always in control and they don't want that control in the bedroom. They want release and surrender.
There is a secret to BDSM. It may appear that the master/domme is in control but in fact its the sub. The master/Domme is not going to do anything not allowed by the sub. If they did the sub would not play with them later. Masters and subs need each other. If a master does things to a sub not allowed or previously discussed..if they cause serious harm to that sub..it goes against the lifestyle code of honor. Real honest to goodness masters and mistresses don't behave that way.
I am sorry to say that amongst the good people in the lifestyle there are fakes running around and they can ruin a good first time slave by giving them a first time bad experience. To protect all you curious first timers or future first timers i am going to tell you now what to look for and what to look out for.
Beware a "master" or "mistress" that claims to have experience but can provide no references. Beware also if they want to play with you but do not take time to get to know you and ask you questions regarding your likes/dislikes/limits and so forth. REAL Masters will conduct lengthy interviews with potential subs and grill them on EVERYTHING to find out what to do and what not to do to them. They will ask about sexual likes and any bad experiences...past lovers..they cover every base because BDSM is not about the physical its about the mental. It starts with the mind. You as a sub should be able to ask whatever question you like of your potential master or mistress,and if they don't or wont answer then do not play with them.
Beware also of a master or mistress who is quick to "collar" you..a real Dom or Domme NEVER does that. Collaring is serious business. Its the equivalent of an engagement ring. For the record,there are usually 3 collars a sub may wear..a temporary collar..in the beginning so when she is in masters presence all now she is his and other masters know to stay back...the semi permanent collar..a bit more serious..and the final commitment collar. Fake Dommes or Doms are quick to collar but the collar means nothing. Also,please be aware that these fake Doms prey on weak subs..and i hate to say this...but a lot of fake Doms target women of heavier size because they have no self esteem,don't get attention and will do anything to feel loved.A proper Dom will make you a better person,not keep you weak to abuse you for sadistic amusement.
As a sub i can tell you..Tied up,shackled,restrained..i never felt fear for my life with my my ONE. I knew i was completely safe. My pleasure came from pleasing him and letting go first and what he did to me second. As an adult entertainer i held a job that put me in the alpha position and so i needed release..and he gave it to me. The moment i would kneel at his feet and kiss his boot i would feel the thousand pounds of the weight of control fall from my body. BDSM IS about trust,loyalty,devotion in its most pure erotic sensual dark form. Those who serve have incredible freedom even in chains. Its a freedom most never get to know.
it is very late I will write more on this later.
11 years ago