Ask a slut Anonymous - BDSM and secrets
Q.
I was sexually used at age 10 by my 25 year old babysitter. Since age 23, I have loved being used by older women and often beaten by them too. I would pay prostitutes or go to S&M clubs. I am now 31 and been with my girlfriend for 6 months and hope she is the one, but I have never told anyone close. Do I tell her my secret?
A.
Absolutely.
Nothing is more important than communication in a relationship, and talking will only bring you two closer.Even if she does not turn out to be the one, it will be helpful for you to talk about it.You cannot just keep holding stuff like that in, or it will explode.
You should never have to feel that it should be a secret. We all have certain things that we keep private, but never telling anyone close to you, is not good for you.
The only real question is not if you should tell her, but how. It is never easy starting conversations like this, and I am thinking it is possibly one reason you never have in the past.
I hope that you decide to open up to her, not only for your relationship, but more importantly, for yourself.
Update.
My girlfriend and I have discussed my past, and after lots of talk and emotion, we are going to experiment with strict BDSM both acting as switch.
That makes me so happy to hear :)
I was sexually used at age 10 by my 25 year old babysitter. Since age 23, I have loved being used by older women and often beaten by them too. I would pay prostitutes or go to S&M clubs. I am now 31 and been with my girlfriend for 6 months and hope she is the one, but I have never told anyone close. Do I tell her my secret?
A.
Absolutely.
Nothing is more important than communication in a relationship, and talking will only bring you two closer.Even if she does not turn out to be the one, it will be helpful for you to talk about it.You cannot just keep holding stuff like that in, or it will explode.
You should never have to feel that it should be a secret. We all have certain things that we keep private, but never telling anyone close to you, is not good for you.
The only real question is not if you should tell her, but how. It is never easy starting conversations like this, and I am thinking it is possibly one reason you never have in the past.
I hope that you decide to open up to her, not only for your relationship, but more importantly, for yourself.
Update.
My girlfriend and I have discussed my past, and after lots of talk and emotion, we are going to experiment with strict BDSM both acting as switch.
That makes me so happy to hear :)
12 years ago
you are both correct!