My attempt at recruitment

Some time ago, I decided to end all of my suffering, loneliness, and pain. I picked out .357 solutions. On the day of...honestly, in the QUARTER HOUR OF...someone intervened. No, not God or any of that mess. It was a former student. He knocked on my door within 15 minutes before i...applied those 357 solutions to my temple. He represented a club, of sorts. They were having a membership drive right here in my sleepy little town. Not being one to ignore a sign, I signed up. And I wrote a check to cover what they hoped to raise with their drive. These people started to explain that they had a bad reputation, and I agreed. I studied history. Plus, I'm not stupid. But I am open minded. I also believe in our freedom of speech. So I listened to their pitch. They said that the first thing that happened was that they separated themselves from the skin heads and meth freaks. Mindless v******e was no longer tolerated. What was left was a group of people that were able to come together to find one voice. That voice says the following. 1. Having pride is a good thing. 2. Just because we love us, that doesn't automatically mean that we hate you. 3. We, as a rule, haven't experienced white privilege...just because some left wing nuts say we did. 4. The time for feeling white guilt is over. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how I joined the new and improved American Nazi Party.