Recape of this year and decision about next year
This year has been a real learning experience. Going without stroking for a whole year was tough at times, especially at the start, but the results are extremely rewarding. When I first joined this site someone introduced me to BNWO videos and they opened up new aspects of sexuality for me to consider. Those videos combined with the increased arousal of no stroking have changed my porn inclinations and even how I watch porn. Several clips lean heavily into humiliation and now I love that! Many of them force you to focus on the faces and feet and to ignore their breasts and pussy because betas like me are unworthy of them. Because of that I find myself following those instructions even when they are not in the video I am watching. I love the expressions on the faces of the women being satisfied by real men and their huge, usually black, cocks! As much as I loved the energy of the women in the femdom videos that I almost exclusively watched before, I see even more of it now thanks to those videos!
Thanks to those videos and my heightened arousal I also had my first gay dream. Before this experiment I never had any fantasies of men alone. I have had many fantasies of forced bi in a femdom context but never being dominated by just a man. Now I realize that as long as I am being dominated, men arouse me too. Not as much as a dominant woman but there is definitely attraction to the idea of being a Master's plaything. In a vanilla context though, I haven't developed an desire for men. Will that change over time? I don't know but the videos mentioned above also have you focus on BBC and now my eyes go to them as much as the women. I have had dream of them too.
I also found that my little dicklet did shrink towards the end of the year. I didn't know if it would or not because the internet is full of falsehoods but the old saying of “use it or lose it” turned out to be somewhat true. I'm very happy with that result because it's what I was hoping for. I also read that when guys got out of their chastity for a while they regained their size. I guess I'll find out during my resolution for next year.
Now for the decision regarding the next New Year's resolution. I knew that after this year I was going to return to stroking for a while to see if the changes remain. After thinking about all I've learned this year and my past, I am going to do something I didn't think I would ever do. I am going to go back to “normal” for a bit. No stroking or cumming restraints and no chastity for a year. I will now masturbate and cum whenever I want. If I'm horny and I'm capable of jerking off, I'll do it. And that orgasm will not be a ruined one. I haven't had a full orgasm in three years or more. Once I got a chastity devise that properly fit, I went on a orgasm schedule while wearing chastity as much as possible and never looked back! I was so exited to finally have a chastity cage that I didn't think about paying attention to any changes that may have occurred. Because of this I am going to go back to how I was before that to see what happens. Will my newfound attractions remain? Will my dicklet regain some of my size? Only time will tell. I'm not going to force any new material on myself. I am just going to see where my desires take me. The acceptation to this will be if anyone on here wants to control my masturbation and porn viewing like some did during this past year. In those situations they will be in control within my limits. Other than that, I'm just going to play things loose and see what happens.
I am really excited for New Year's Eve now. My little dicklet won't know what's happen after going for so long without stroking. It will be interesting to see how long I can last that night. I wonder if I am still able to goon? Before I could stroke and edge for hours and then I would either deny myself and put my cage back on or, if it was on scheduled, give myself a ruined orgasm. It has been so long since I had a full orgasm that I don't remember what they feel like. 2023 is going to be an interesting year.
Feel free to leave your thoughts below.
Thanks to those videos and my heightened arousal I also had my first gay dream. Before this experiment I never had any fantasies of men alone. I have had many fantasies of forced bi in a femdom context but never being dominated by just a man. Now I realize that as long as I am being dominated, men arouse me too. Not as much as a dominant woman but there is definitely attraction to the idea of being a Master's plaything. In a vanilla context though, I haven't developed an desire for men. Will that change over time? I don't know but the videos mentioned above also have you focus on BBC and now my eyes go to them as much as the women. I have had dream of them too.
I also found that my little dicklet did shrink towards the end of the year. I didn't know if it would or not because the internet is full of falsehoods but the old saying of “use it or lose it” turned out to be somewhat true. I'm very happy with that result because it's what I was hoping for. I also read that when guys got out of their chastity for a while they regained their size. I guess I'll find out during my resolution for next year.
Now for the decision regarding the next New Year's resolution. I knew that after this year I was going to return to stroking for a while to see if the changes remain. After thinking about all I've learned this year and my past, I am going to do something I didn't think I would ever do. I am going to go back to “normal” for a bit. No stroking or cumming restraints and no chastity for a year. I will now masturbate and cum whenever I want. If I'm horny and I'm capable of jerking off, I'll do it. And that orgasm will not be a ruined one. I haven't had a full orgasm in three years or more. Once I got a chastity devise that properly fit, I went on a orgasm schedule while wearing chastity as much as possible and never looked back! I was so exited to finally have a chastity cage that I didn't think about paying attention to any changes that may have occurred. Because of this I am going to go back to how I was before that to see what happens. Will my newfound attractions remain? Will my dicklet regain some of my size? Only time will tell. I'm not going to force any new material on myself. I am just going to see where my desires take me. The acceptation to this will be if anyone on here wants to control my masturbation and porn viewing like some did during this past year. In those situations they will be in control within my limits. Other than that, I'm just going to play things loose and see what happens.
I am really excited for New Year's Eve now. My little dicklet won't know what's happen after going for so long without stroking. It will be interesting to see how long I can last that night. I wonder if I am still able to goon? Before I could stroke and edge for hours and then I would either deny myself and put my cage back on or, if it was on scheduled, give myself a ruined orgasm. It has been so long since I had a full orgasm that I don't remember what they feel like. 2023 is going to be an interesting year.
Feel free to leave your thoughts below.
2 years ago
