I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking F
Wow, just noticed I had 666 followers...something prophetic, there, I'm sure!
All right! Down to it! I've had some people who ask what/who I'm looking for, or assume they know what I need. Here's a blast (BIG one) from Mistress Ember's comment page talking about where she wasn't looking for WORTHless slaves, she was looking for worthy MEN. This is my response, and she loved it. I've modified it for this blog post.
I donāt believe Iām worth LESS than anyone (although, in the realm of BDSM, itās fun to play and experience, and it can be really fun). To know me, youād never know that I like to submit to a womanās whims, to be controlled by a woman, to worship a woman, to be punished by a woman. The rest of the time, my life is very ānormalā, whatever THAT means. I sure as hell DONāT think that the woman Iām going to allow to do this to me (and yes, I do allow itā¦my being a submissive means that she can be the dominantā¦I donāt do that, SHE canāt do HER part!) is going to be doing this full time EVERY timeā¦good LORD, that would get BORING after a while (kind of like the chastity forever thingā¦it could be okay for some people, but I just donāt get itā¦it would seem that its erotic value would wear off after a whileā¦ehā¦to each their own). Thereās also something magical in the sexual act itselfā¦the worship of the GodESS. A worthless human being probably isnāt going to be getting the sex they want because who wants to date a worthless human being? Iām sure there are people out there who do, but I would just think those people are taking advantage of a sad, pathetic personās emotions. Maybe notā¦could be wrong. I guess I kind of subscribe to the school of Ms. Rika or Ms. Kitty Williams, or the āRoman Dominitrixā style of things.
That being said, I am not going to submit to every woman who proffers a whip and says, āKneel before me.ā I also have standards, standards for myself and for any woman to whom I submit (No, Iām not in a relationshipā¦separatedā¦I also have needs, and those needs werenāt being met as my ex was very vanillaā¦sheās almost everything I talk about hereā¦the kinkiness and sexual side was definitely lacking, though). The woman to whom I submit is dominant full-time, itās her nature and not a role she takes on (like the $200-an-hour woman who can be a stripper, or a dancer, but also plays on the side. Iām not begrudging her the money, and Iām not saying sheās not a dominant, she MAY be, but it may just be a role that she clocks in on, too!). Sheās not a leather-clad dominatrix (she might be, if thatās her profession, butā¦), sheās a woman who has a career, she comes home, I make dinner, or SHE makes dinner because she feels like making dinner; she does whatever chores she wants, and leaves the rest to her me (and I had better do them). She delegates those responsibilities she wishes to delegate, and I make it happen.
Sheās also strong enough and confident enough to allow me to be who I am: a confident, intelligent male who has interests, a love of lifeāthe Eros in life, if you willāa life to liveā¦I hold a Masterās degree in Geographic Information Systems and several Bachaelorās degrees, am a voracious reader, am studying hypnosis on my own because I know that a womanās orgasm starts in her mindāsame as in enlightened menāand I want to give the woman Iām with infinite pleasure. I love to travel, speak English and Spanish marginally well (okay, regarding English, I AM the grammarian about whom your mother warned), and am learning Russian AND Mandarin Chinese. I compose music as a hobby that I would like to turn into a career. I love studying the world and all its wonders, and love to teach others about those wonders. I am marginally spiritual; I think somethingās there, but I donāt subscribe to the religious dogma and prejudices (including regarding women), but I have STUDIED religious documents (The Bible and older Judeo-Christian writings, as well as other older religious myths) extensively, mostly out of historical interest. I guess I would call myself an Agnostic.
In my former life, I was a Naval intelligence and cryptologic specialist, and I had occasion to come into contact with some of the seamier people in the world, and also met someā¦for lack of better term, extremely dangerous individuals, who taught me things about defending myself and others (I also discovered that my hackles REALLY go up when I encounter so-called alpha malesā¦cuckolding is probably NOT something in which the woman I eventually submit to is going to be able to engageā¦itās important to know these things about oneself).
Having female friends who have suffered horrific abuse (one woman has had her back broken, has lost most of her sight because of a blow to the faceā¦makes me sickā¦if I EVER get hold of the guysā¦yes there were two, two years apart, two different citiesā¦guys who did thisā¦the policeāll have to go to the water treatment plants to strain for remains), my passion, besides composing music, is teaching women how to defend themselves in any situation (kind of like Tony Stark in Iron Man: āSome people say that the best weapon is the one you never have to use. I respectfully disagree. I think the best weapon is the one you only have to use ONCE!ā), I teach women to defend themselves without firearms, just utilizing the weapons theyāre likely to find in their purse, or in their immediate area.
The woman I submit to must have brains! I know, a lot of the people seriously involved in the BDSM community are fairly intelligent, but there can be a world of difference between āfairlyā intelligent, and intelligent. If a woman is intelligent, witty, fun, sensual (yes, it starts in the mind), sexy (also in the mind), and isnāt afraid of using her intelligence, thatās a huge turn on (for me, anywayā¦basically if you could join Mensa, we should probably talkā¦if sheās into sci fi and fantasy, thatās a HUGE bonus). Invention, imagination, kinkiness (you donāt think you have to be smart to be creatively kinky?!? Really?!?), knowledgeā¦honestly, if you donāt have these, what are you going to talk about AFTER the punishment, or the play session is over, or after sex? I donāt want the Playboy Bunny who hasnāt two brain cells to rub together (yes, I know, thatās an over-generalization and stereotype, but itās the overall appearance and impression thing) when a so-called āPlain Janeā has everything Iāve been talking about. If it comes down to those two women, Iāll go with the Plain Jane ANY day!
The next thing is I have to adore her, and she has to adore me; this canāt be forced, it canāt be bought, it canāt be made out of whole cloth, itās something that we have to doā¦IāM the one who has to adore her, and she has to adore me. Picture Morticia and Gomez Addamsā¦thereās no knowing who was the dominant or the submissive (although I suspect she might have been the top in the relationshipā¦maybe notā¦fun to speculate on, though), they had a VERY nontraditional relationship that obviously played on the edgy side, but they genuinely loved and adored each other. If that canāt be done, thereās not even the smallest chance of a relationship that lasts with me.
Other than a wish list about what I like in a dominant woman, I havenāt really said much about specifics (whips, chains, spankings, etc.) because those are all really propsā¦toys if you will. Those are the things that can be negotiated later; they are PART of the relationship, but they are NOT the relationship! What Iām talking about are those things that make up the woman herself, and those are the things that are important to me. Obviously, PHYSICAL fetishes (example: feet or hairy armpits, or something like that) should PROBABLY be talked about EARLY in the relationship, rather than later.
All that said, I donāt want or need a babysitter. Iād love a woman who lets me LIVE and LOVE in the amazing life we share together, but also knows how to rein me in at the drop of a hat, and has the ability to smack me down hard, to make me feel small and powerless to use a turn of phrase, if she finds it necessary to my well-being, her well-being, or to the harmony of the relationship.
I guess Iām talking about the more traditional (if there is such a term in relation to FLR) female-led relationship, and its appeal to US and OUR relationship. Now, if I can just FIND this, life will be perfect. You figure with roughly 4 billion women on the planet, ONE of them might fit the bill.
In closing, Iām going to write what is, perhaps, the weirdest sentence Iāve ever written: rest assured, there are still confident, intelligent guys like me out there who will submit to, and worship, the RIGHT Dominant woman or women (or women who switch but are the Top in the relationship). Probably an oxymoron butā¦ehā¦it is what it is.
All right! Down to it! I've had some people who ask what/who I'm looking for, or assume they know what I need. Here's a blast (BIG one) from Mistress Ember's comment page talking about where she wasn't looking for WORTHless slaves, she was looking for worthy MEN. This is my response, and she loved it. I've modified it for this blog post.
I donāt believe Iām worth LESS than anyone (although, in the realm of BDSM, itās fun to play and experience, and it can be really fun). To know me, youād never know that I like to submit to a womanās whims, to be controlled by a woman, to worship a woman, to be punished by a woman. The rest of the time, my life is very ānormalā, whatever THAT means. I sure as hell DONāT think that the woman Iām going to allow to do this to me (and yes, I do allow itā¦my being a submissive means that she can be the dominantā¦I donāt do that, SHE canāt do HER part!) is going to be doing this full time EVERY timeā¦good LORD, that would get BORING after a while (kind of like the chastity forever thingā¦it could be okay for some people, but I just donāt get itā¦it would seem that its erotic value would wear off after a whileā¦ehā¦to each their own). Thereās also something magical in the sexual act itselfā¦the worship of the GodESS. A worthless human being probably isnāt going to be getting the sex they want because who wants to date a worthless human being? Iām sure there are people out there who do, but I would just think those people are taking advantage of a sad, pathetic personās emotions. Maybe notā¦could be wrong. I guess I kind of subscribe to the school of Ms. Rika or Ms. Kitty Williams, or the āRoman Dominitrixā style of things.
That being said, I am not going to submit to every woman who proffers a whip and says, āKneel before me.ā I also have standards, standards for myself and for any woman to whom I submit (No, Iām not in a relationshipā¦separatedā¦I also have needs, and those needs werenāt being met as my ex was very vanillaā¦sheās almost everything I talk about hereā¦the kinkiness and sexual side was definitely lacking, though). The woman to whom I submit is dominant full-time, itās her nature and not a role she takes on (like the $200-an-hour woman who can be a stripper, or a dancer, but also plays on the side. Iām not begrudging her the money, and Iām not saying sheās not a dominant, she MAY be, but it may just be a role that she clocks in on, too!). Sheās not a leather-clad dominatrix (she might be, if thatās her profession, butā¦), sheās a woman who has a career, she comes home, I make dinner, or SHE makes dinner because she feels like making dinner; she does whatever chores she wants, and leaves the rest to her me (and I had better do them). She delegates those responsibilities she wishes to delegate, and I make it happen.
Sheās also strong enough and confident enough to allow me to be who I am: a confident, intelligent male who has interests, a love of lifeāthe Eros in life, if you willāa life to liveā¦I hold a Masterās degree in Geographic Information Systems and several Bachaelorās degrees, am a voracious reader, am studying hypnosis on my own because I know that a womanās orgasm starts in her mindāsame as in enlightened menāand I want to give the woman Iām with infinite pleasure. I love to travel, speak English and Spanish marginally well (okay, regarding English, I AM the grammarian about whom your mother warned), and am learning Russian AND Mandarin Chinese. I compose music as a hobby that I would like to turn into a career. I love studying the world and all its wonders, and love to teach others about those wonders. I am marginally spiritual; I think somethingās there, but I donāt subscribe to the religious dogma and prejudices (including regarding women), but I have STUDIED religious documents (The Bible and older Judeo-Christian writings, as well as other older religious myths) extensively, mostly out of historical interest. I guess I would call myself an Agnostic.
In my former life, I was a Naval intelligence and cryptologic specialist, and I had occasion to come into contact with some of the seamier people in the world, and also met someā¦for lack of better term, extremely dangerous individuals, who taught me things about defending myself and others (I also discovered that my hackles REALLY go up when I encounter so-called alpha malesā¦cuckolding is probably NOT something in which the woman I eventually submit to is going to be able to engageā¦itās important to know these things about oneself).
Having female friends who have suffered horrific abuse (one woman has had her back broken, has lost most of her sight because of a blow to the faceā¦makes me sickā¦if I EVER get hold of the guysā¦yes there were two, two years apart, two different citiesā¦guys who did thisā¦the policeāll have to go to the water treatment plants to strain for remains), my passion, besides composing music, is teaching women how to defend themselves in any situation (kind of like Tony Stark in Iron Man: āSome people say that the best weapon is the one you never have to use. I respectfully disagree. I think the best weapon is the one you only have to use ONCE!ā), I teach women to defend themselves without firearms, just utilizing the weapons theyāre likely to find in their purse, or in their immediate area.
The woman I submit to must have brains! I know, a lot of the people seriously involved in the BDSM community are fairly intelligent, but there can be a world of difference between āfairlyā intelligent, and intelligent. If a woman is intelligent, witty, fun, sensual (yes, it starts in the mind), sexy (also in the mind), and isnāt afraid of using her intelligence, thatās a huge turn on (for me, anywayā¦basically if you could join Mensa, we should probably talkā¦if sheās into sci fi and fantasy, thatās a HUGE bonus). Invention, imagination, kinkiness (you donāt think you have to be smart to be creatively kinky?!? Really?!?), knowledgeā¦honestly, if you donāt have these, what are you going to talk about AFTER the punishment, or the play session is over, or after sex? I donāt want the Playboy Bunny who hasnāt two brain cells to rub together (yes, I know, thatās an over-generalization and stereotype, but itās the overall appearance and impression thing) when a so-called āPlain Janeā has everything Iāve been talking about. If it comes down to those two women, Iāll go with the Plain Jane ANY day!
The next thing is I have to adore her, and she has to adore me; this canāt be forced, it canāt be bought, it canāt be made out of whole cloth, itās something that we have to doā¦IāM the one who has to adore her, and she has to adore me. Picture Morticia and Gomez Addamsā¦thereās no knowing who was the dominant or the submissive (although I suspect she might have been the top in the relationshipā¦maybe notā¦fun to speculate on, though), they had a VERY nontraditional relationship that obviously played on the edgy side, but they genuinely loved and adored each other. If that canāt be done, thereās not even the smallest chance of a relationship that lasts with me.
Other than a wish list about what I like in a dominant woman, I havenāt really said much about specifics (whips, chains, spankings, etc.) because those are all really propsā¦toys if you will. Those are the things that can be negotiated later; they are PART of the relationship, but they are NOT the relationship! What Iām talking about are those things that make up the woman herself, and those are the things that are important to me. Obviously, PHYSICAL fetishes (example: feet or hairy armpits, or something like that) should PROBABLY be talked about EARLY in the relationship, rather than later.
All that said, I donāt want or need a babysitter. Iād love a woman who lets me LIVE and LOVE in the amazing life we share together, but also knows how to rein me in at the drop of a hat, and has the ability to smack me down hard, to make me feel small and powerless to use a turn of phrase, if she finds it necessary to my well-being, her well-being, or to the harmony of the relationship.
I guess Iām talking about the more traditional (if there is such a term in relation to FLR) female-led relationship, and its appeal to US and OUR relationship. Now, if I can just FIND this, life will be perfect. You figure with roughly 4 billion women on the planet, ONE of them might fit the bill.
In closing, Iām going to write what is, perhaps, the weirdest sentence Iāve ever written: rest assured, there are still confident, intelligent guys like me out there who will submit to, and worship, the RIGHT Dominant woman or women (or women who switch but are the Top in the relationship). Probably an oxymoron butā¦ehā¦it is what it is.
3 years ago