BDSM list
BDSM CHECKLIST
This checklist can be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one persons Dom and Sub interests may be very different.
For each item, you need to provide two answers:
Experience
Have you had real time experience with the activity?
Indicate YES or NO next to each item. Write N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
Willingness
Are you willing/open to try an activity?
For each item, indicate the degree to which you are willing to try that particular activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0-5 (see rating scale below).
If you write "no", it means you will not do that item under any circumstance (a hard limit). There is nothing wrong with indicating 'no' on an item. However, if you write 'no' next to every item, you should probably find another interest to pursue.... like knitting or basket weaving. *grin*
If you do not understand what an activity is, mark that item with a "?".
Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play partners
Rating Scale
0 Utterly no desire to do that activity and donāt like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and ordinarily would object to
doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if they really wanted it (sometimes called a soft limit)
1 Donāt want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldnāt object it if was asked of you
2 Willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you
3 Usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/occasional basis
4 You like doing this activity and would like to experience it on a regular basis
5 Is a wild turn-on for you and you would like it as often as possible
Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the comments section.
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the sub is the recipient/target of the activity
Activity Experience Willingness Comments
MY CHECKLIST:
Age Play N 0
Anal Sex Y 5
Anal Plugs (small) Y 4
Anal Plugs (large) Y 4
Anal Plug (public under clothes) Y 4
a****l Roles Y 4
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) Y 4
Aromas Y 3
Asphyxiation N no
Auctioned for charity N 5
Ball Stretching Y 3
Bathroom use control N 3
b**stiality N 5
Beating (soft) N no
Beating (hard) N no
Blindfolding Y 3
Being Serviced (sexual) Y 3
Being bitten Y 0
Breast/chest bondage Y 4
Breath control N no
Branding N 0
Boot Worship Y 2
Bondage (light) Y 3
Bondage (heavy) Y 3
Bondage (multi-day) Y 3
Bondage (public under clothing) Y 4
Breast whipping Y 3
Brown showers (s**t) N no
Cages (locked inside) Y 4
Caning Y 3
Castration fantasy Y 5
Catheterization Y 4
Cattle prod (electrical toy) Y 3
Cells/Closets (locked inside of) Y 4
Chains Y 3
Chamber pot use Y 3
Chastity belts Y 5
Chauffeuring Y 3
Choking Y 2
Chores (domestic service) Y 4
Clothespins Y 3
Cock rings/straps Y 5
Cock worship Y 5
Collars (worn in private) Y 5
Collars (worn in public) N 1
Competitions (with other subs) Y 3
Corsets (wearing casually) Y 4
Corsets (trained waist reduction) Y 4
Cuffs (leather) Y 4
Cuffs (metal) Y 4
Cutting N no
Diapers (wearing) N 0
Diapers (wetting) N 1
Diapers (soiling) N no
Dilation Y 3
Dildos Y 4
Double Penetration Y 4
Electricity Y 3
Enemas (for cleansing) Y 4
Enemas ( retention/punishment) Y 3
Enforced chastity Y 5
Erotic Dance (for audience) Y 3
Examinations (physical) Y 4
Exercise (forced/required) Y 2
Exhibitionism (friends) Y 1
Exhibitionism (strangers) Y 4
Eye contact restrictions Y 3
Face Slapping Y no
Fantasy Abandonment Y 1
Fantasy i*** N 2
Fantasy gang **** Y 2
Fear (being scared) Y 3
Fisting (anal) Y 4
Fisting (vaginal) N/A
Flame play N 0
Following orders Y 4
Foot worship Y 3
Forced bedwetting N 0
forced dressing Y 4
Forced eating N 1
Forced homosexuality Y 4
Forced heterosexuality Y 4
Forced masturbation Y 5
Forced nudity (private) Y 4
Forced nudity (around others) Y 4
Forced Servitude Y 4
Forced smoking N 2
Full head hoods Y 2
Gags (cloth) Y 3
Gags (inflatable) Y 3
Gags (phallic) Y 3
Gags (rubber) Y 3
Gags (tape) N 2
Gas masks N 2
Gates of Hell (male) Y 3
Genital sex Y 2
Given away to another Dom (temp) Y 5
Given away to another Dom (perm) Y 1
Golden Showers Y 3
Gun play N no
Hair brush spankings Y 3
Hair pulling Y 2
Hand Jobs (giving) Y 4
Hand Jobs (receiving) Y 4
Harems (serving w/other subs) Y 4
Harnessing (leather) Y 4
Harnessing (rope) Y 3
Having food chosen for you Y 1
Having clothing chosen for you Y 3
Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus) Y 4
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus) Y 2
High Heel Wearing Y 5
High Heel Worship Y 4
Homage with tongue (non-sexual) Y 3
Hoods Y 2
Hot oils (on genitals) N no
Hot waxing Y 3
Housework (doing) Y 3
Human puppy dog Y 3
Humiliation (private) Y 4
Humiliation (public) Y 1
Hypnotism N 3
Ice cubes Y 3
Immobilization Y 3
Infantilism N 2
Initiation rites Y 5
Injections Y 3
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage Y 3
Interrogations Y 3
k**napping N 2
Kneeling Y 3
Knife play N 2
Leather Clothing Y 3
Leather restraints Y 3
Lectures for misbehavior Y 3
Licking (non-sexual) Y 3
Lingerie (wearing) Y 4
Manacles and Irons Y 3
Manicures (giving) Y 2
Massage (giving) Y 2
Massage (receiving) Y 2
Medical scenes Y 5
Modeling for erotic photos Y 4
Mouth bits Y no
Mummification N no
Name change (for scene) Y 4
Nipple clamps Y 3
Nipple rings (piercing) N 3
Nipple weights Y 3
Oral/anal play (rimming) Y 4
Over the knee spanking Y 4
Orgasm denial Y 5
Orgasm control Y 5
Outdoor scenes Y 3
Pain (severe) N 0
Pain (mild) Y 3
Personal training (in scene) Y 4
Personal modification (rl) ?
Phone sex (serving Dom) Y 3
Phone sex (serving Domās friends) N 3
Phone sex (commercial provider) N 4
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) Y 3
Piercing (permanent) N 0
Plastic surgery N no
Prison scenes N 4
Prostitution (public pretense) Y 4
Prostitution (actual) Y 5
Pony slave N 3
Public exposure Y 3
Punishment scene Y 3
Pussy/cock whipping Y 3
Pussy worship Y 3
Riding crops Y 3
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort) Y 3
Rituals Y 4
Religious scenes N 2
Restrictive rules on behavior Y 3
Rubber/latex clothing Y 4
Rope body harness Y 3
Saran wrap N 2
Scarification N no
Scratching ā getting N 0
Scratching ā giving N 1
Sensory deprivation N 2
Serving Y 4
Serving as art N 3
Serving as ashtray Y 1
Serving as furniture Y 3
Serving as a maid Y 4
Serving as a toilet (urine) Y 3
Serving as a toilet (feces) N no
Serving as waitress/waiter Y 3
Serving orally (sexual) Y 4
Serving other Doms (supervised) Y 4
Serving other Doms (unsupervised) Y 3
Sexual deprivation (short term) Y 1
Sexual deprivation (long term) N no
Shaving (body hair) Y 4
Shaving (head hair) N no
Skinny dipping Y 4
Sleep deprivation N no
Sleep sacks N no
Slutty clothing (private) Y 4
Slutty clothing (public) Y 3
Spandex clothing Y 2
Spanking Y 3
Speech restrictions (when/what) Y 3
Speculums (anal) Y 3
Speculums (vaginal) N/A
Spitting Y 3
Spreader bars Y 3
Standing in corner Y 3
Stocks Y 3
Straight jackets Y 3
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) Y 3
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) Y 4
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) Y 2
Strapping (full body beating) Y 3
Suspension (upright) N 3
Suspension (inverted) N 1
Supplying new partners for Dom N 3
Swallowing feces N no
Swallowing semen Y 4
Swallowing urine Y 3
Swapping (with one other couple) N 3
Swinging (multiple couples) N 3
Tampon training (in ass) Y 3
Tattooing Y 0
Teasing Y 3
TENS unit (electrical toy) Y 3
Thumb cuffs (metal) N 3
Tickling Y 1
Triple Penetration Y 3
Urethral Sounds (metal rods) N 3
Uniforms Y 3
Including others Y 3
Vaginal dildo N/A
Verbal humiliation Y 3
Vibrator on genitals Y 3
Violet wand (electrical toy) Y 3
Voyeurism (watching others) Y 4
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) Y 4
Video (watching others) Y 4
Video (recordings of you) Y 1
Water torture N no
Waxing (hair removal) Y 3
Wearing symbolic jewelry Y 3
Weight gain (forced) N no
Weight loss (forced) N 3
Whipping Y 3
Wooden paddles Y 3
Wrestling N 0
This checklist can be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one persons Dom and Sub interests may be very different.
For each item, you need to provide two answers:
Experience
Have you had real time experience with the activity?
Indicate YES or NO next to each item. Write N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
Willingness
Are you willing/open to try an activity?
For each item, indicate the degree to which you are willing to try that particular activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0-5 (see rating scale below).
If you write "no", it means you will not do that item under any circumstance (a hard limit). There is nothing wrong with indicating 'no' on an item. However, if you write 'no' next to every item, you should probably find another interest to pursue.... like knitting or basket weaving. *grin*
If you do not understand what an activity is, mark that item with a "?".
Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play partners
Rating Scale
0 Utterly no desire to do that activity and donāt like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and ordinarily would object to
doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if they really wanted it (sometimes called a soft limit)
1 Donāt want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldnāt object it if was asked of you
2 Willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you
3 Usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/occasional basis
4 You like doing this activity and would like to experience it on a regular basis
5 Is a wild turn-on for you and you would like it as often as possible
Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the comments section.
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the sub is the recipient/target of the activity
Activity Experience Willingness Comments
MY CHECKLIST:
Age Play N 0
Anal Sex Y 5
Anal Plugs (small) Y 4
Anal Plugs (large) Y 4
Anal Plug (public under clothes) Y 4
a****l Roles Y 4
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) Y 4
Aromas Y 3
Asphyxiation N no
Auctioned for charity N 5
Ball Stretching Y 3
Bathroom use control N 3
b**stiality N 5
Beating (soft) N no
Beating (hard) N no
Blindfolding Y 3
Being Serviced (sexual) Y 3
Being bitten Y 0
Breast/chest bondage Y 4
Breath control N no
Branding N 0
Boot Worship Y 2
Bondage (light) Y 3
Bondage (heavy) Y 3
Bondage (multi-day) Y 3
Bondage (public under clothing) Y 4
Breast whipping Y 3
Brown showers (s**t) N no
Cages (locked inside) Y 4
Caning Y 3
Castration fantasy Y 5
Catheterization Y 4
Cattle prod (electrical toy) Y 3
Cells/Closets (locked inside of) Y 4
Chains Y 3
Chamber pot use Y 3
Chastity belts Y 5
Chauffeuring Y 3
Choking Y 2
Chores (domestic service) Y 4
Clothespins Y 3
Cock rings/straps Y 5
Cock worship Y 5
Collars (worn in private) Y 5
Collars (worn in public) N 1
Competitions (with other subs) Y 3
Corsets (wearing casually) Y 4
Corsets (trained waist reduction) Y 4
Cuffs (leather) Y 4
Cuffs (metal) Y 4
Cutting N no
Diapers (wearing) N 0
Diapers (wetting) N 1
Diapers (soiling) N no
Dilation Y 3
Dildos Y 4
Double Penetration Y 4
Electricity Y 3
Enemas (for cleansing) Y 4
Enemas ( retention/punishment) Y 3
Enforced chastity Y 5
Erotic Dance (for audience) Y 3
Examinations (physical) Y 4
Exercise (forced/required) Y 2
Exhibitionism (friends) Y 1
Exhibitionism (strangers) Y 4
Eye contact restrictions Y 3
Face Slapping Y no
Fantasy Abandonment Y 1
Fantasy i*** N 2
Fantasy gang **** Y 2
Fear (being scared) Y 3
Fisting (anal) Y 4
Fisting (vaginal) N/A
Flame play N 0
Following orders Y 4
Foot worship Y 3
Forced bedwetting N 0
forced dressing Y 4
Forced eating N 1
Forced homosexuality Y 4
Forced heterosexuality Y 4
Forced masturbation Y 5
Forced nudity (private) Y 4
Forced nudity (around others) Y 4
Forced Servitude Y 4
Forced smoking N 2
Full head hoods Y 2
Gags (cloth) Y 3
Gags (inflatable) Y 3
Gags (phallic) Y 3
Gags (rubber) Y 3
Gags (tape) N 2
Gas masks N 2
Gates of Hell (male) Y 3
Genital sex Y 2
Given away to another Dom (temp) Y 5
Given away to another Dom (perm) Y 1
Golden Showers Y 3
Gun play N no
Hair brush spankings Y 3
Hair pulling Y 2
Hand Jobs (giving) Y 4
Hand Jobs (receiving) Y 4
Harems (serving w/other subs) Y 4
Harnessing (leather) Y 4
Harnessing (rope) Y 3
Having food chosen for you Y 1
Having clothing chosen for you Y 3
Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus) Y 4
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus) Y 2
High Heel Wearing Y 5
High Heel Worship Y 4
Homage with tongue (non-sexual) Y 3
Hoods Y 2
Hot oils (on genitals) N no
Hot waxing Y 3
Housework (doing) Y 3
Human puppy dog Y 3
Humiliation (private) Y 4
Humiliation (public) Y 1
Hypnotism N 3
Ice cubes Y 3
Immobilization Y 3
Infantilism N 2
Initiation rites Y 5
Injections Y 3
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage Y 3
Interrogations Y 3
k**napping N 2
Kneeling Y 3
Knife play N 2
Leather Clothing Y 3
Leather restraints Y 3
Lectures for misbehavior Y 3
Licking (non-sexual) Y 3
Lingerie (wearing) Y 4
Manacles and Irons Y 3
Manicures (giving) Y 2
Massage (giving) Y 2
Massage (receiving) Y 2
Medical scenes Y 5
Modeling for erotic photos Y 4
Mouth bits Y no
Mummification N no
Name change (for scene) Y 4
Nipple clamps Y 3
Nipple rings (piercing) N 3
Nipple weights Y 3
Oral/anal play (rimming) Y 4
Over the knee spanking Y 4
Orgasm denial Y 5
Orgasm control Y 5
Outdoor scenes Y 3
Pain (severe) N 0
Pain (mild) Y 3
Personal training (in scene) Y 4
Personal modification (rl) ?
Phone sex (serving Dom) Y 3
Phone sex (serving Domās friends) N 3
Phone sex (commercial provider) N 4
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) Y 3
Piercing (permanent) N 0
Plastic surgery N no
Prison scenes N 4
Prostitution (public pretense) Y 4
Prostitution (actual) Y 5
Pony slave N 3
Public exposure Y 3
Punishment scene Y 3
Pussy/cock whipping Y 3
Pussy worship Y 3
Riding crops Y 3
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort) Y 3
Rituals Y 4
Religious scenes N 2
Restrictive rules on behavior Y 3
Rubber/latex clothing Y 4
Rope body harness Y 3
Saran wrap N 2
Scarification N no
Scratching ā getting N 0
Scratching ā giving N 1
Sensory deprivation N 2
Serving Y 4
Serving as art N 3
Serving as ashtray Y 1
Serving as furniture Y 3
Serving as a maid Y 4
Serving as a toilet (urine) Y 3
Serving as a toilet (feces) N no
Serving as waitress/waiter Y 3
Serving orally (sexual) Y 4
Serving other Doms (supervised) Y 4
Serving other Doms (unsupervised) Y 3
Sexual deprivation (short term) Y 1
Sexual deprivation (long term) N no
Shaving (body hair) Y 4
Shaving (head hair) N no
Skinny dipping Y 4
Sleep deprivation N no
Sleep sacks N no
Slutty clothing (private) Y 4
Slutty clothing (public) Y 3
Spandex clothing Y 2
Spanking Y 3
Speech restrictions (when/what) Y 3
Speculums (anal) Y 3
Speculums (vaginal) N/A
Spitting Y 3
Spreader bars Y 3
Standing in corner Y 3
Stocks Y 3
Straight jackets Y 3
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) Y 3
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) Y 4
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) Y 2
Strapping (full body beating) Y 3
Suspension (upright) N 3
Suspension (inverted) N 1
Supplying new partners for Dom N 3
Swallowing feces N no
Swallowing semen Y 4
Swallowing urine Y 3
Swapping (with one other couple) N 3
Swinging (multiple couples) N 3
Tampon training (in ass) Y 3
Tattooing Y 0
Teasing Y 3
TENS unit (electrical toy) Y 3
Thumb cuffs (metal) N 3
Tickling Y 1
Triple Penetration Y 3
Urethral Sounds (metal rods) N 3
Uniforms Y 3
Including others Y 3
Vaginal dildo N/A
Verbal humiliation Y 3
Vibrator on genitals Y 3
Violet wand (electrical toy) Y 3
Voyeurism (watching others) Y 4
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) Y 4
Video (watching others) Y 4
Video (recordings of you) Y 1
Water torture N no
Waxing (hair removal) Y 3
Wearing symbolic jewelry Y 3
Weight gain (forced) N no
Weight loss (forced) N 3
Whipping Y 3
Wooden paddles Y 3
Wrestling N 0
4 years ago