My life from the begging

Well, since I was 3 or 4 years old, I remember being attracted to my dad and some of his friends. Unfortunately, I was embarassed for having those feelings and I only acted on them when I was 12, staring at cocks at urinals, letting the men clear I was interested.
Until I was age 13, only touching and quick frightened sucking took place in public bathrooms.
Them this 30 something year old guy invited me to go to a motel. Naturally I said Yes.
But, admittedly, he was a lousy fuck.
He was so bad, in fact, that I only sought men again at age 15.
Then I lived 7 moths in heaven....
(To be continued)