Relaxation and Orgasm Control
Cleansing breaths are important to all kinds of relaxation tools. To take a cleansing breath you must first stop thinking. How do you do that? Well, since it is impossible for the human brain to not think (because even thinking of nothing is still thinking) you pick one specific thought to focus on. Some people like to think of a color. Others like to think of a peaceful scene such as a sunset, or moon rise, or a place from their youth where they felt at peace. I do exactly that. I go to my grandparents' place, and lie under the trees and just watch them sway in the breeze; and NOTHING else.
Once you achieve that relaxing thought, drive it home by taking in a slow and deep breath through your nose, and then release it out your mouth just as slowly. Do that three times, and you have taken 3 cleansing breaths. It takes practice, so do this every few hours for a full day, until you feel you are actually getting a hint of what relaxation is.
Now you are ready to start the relaxation technique.
Take three (3) cleansing breaths. Now I want you to think about the top of your head. Many people don't realize that tension often starts in the little muscles of the scalp, so I want you to think about those little muscles and the skin of your scalp and just allow them to let go and relax...
A trick to try if you can't get the feel of relaxation that I'm talking about, is to do the opposite; Tighten those little muscles as hard as you can, hold for a full 30 seconds until it starts to feel normal, then relax them with a calm cleansing breath to accentuate the relaxed feeling. Now you got it, and you know how relaxed – as opposed to tense – feels.
Now just let all the muscles of your face go slack...
Then move to your forehead and your eyes and eyelids...
Keep going to the cheeks, mouth and jaw muscles...
It's a wonderful feeling when you let your face totally relax, because you can actually feel the skin settling, smoothing out...
This complete relaxation might mean that your mouth opens slightly, but whatever's most natural to you, just let it happen...
Unclench your teeth and relax your tongue, because the more you physically relax, the more you can mentally relax...
Now, think about your neck and shoulder muscles and into the tops of your arms, letting all tensions drain away as you think on down through your elbows...
Think down into your forearms... down through your wrists and into your hands... all the way down into the very tips of your fingers and tips of your thumbs... just letting all those muscles let go and relax...
And now, think about your breathing, noticing that you're breathing even more steadily, even more slowly, as you relax more and more, so you can let any tension in the chest area simply drain away as you think on down to your stomach muscles, letting those muscles relax, too...
Think down into your back now, the long muscles on either side of the spine, just let those muscles relax... and your waist... and your main thigh muscles, as you think on down through your knees, down through the shins and calves, just allowing all those areas to relax and let go, as you think on down through your ankles, through your feet, into the very tips of your toes... all the muscles of your body beautifully relaxed and easy... very lazy...
Keep these sensations going for 10-minutes. It'll be hard at first, but with practice you'll master it. Once you do, you will be able to summon the relaxed feeling upon your mental command (or you Dom's command), where you'll take a nice cleansing breath and sink into a fully relaxed mode; open to anything.
When you are done, take 3 more cleansing breaths and then slowly bring yourself out, to finish with a soft stretching motion. As they show you in yoga, walk your back all around, and concentrate on the relaxed feeling of the muscles.
Once you've mastered the first portion of this exercise (and you should practice it several times until you have it clearly in your mind), expand it to a full ritual and the orgasm control training exercise by doing the following:
Before you start this ritual, check how long it takes you to have an orgasm. If it takes you 5 minutes, then set the time for this exercise's first orgasm at no less than 10 minutes – in other words, double the time it normally takes. I'd actually prefer that you triple it, but I'm not sure the first time you'll have the patience – but try it just for the fun of it.
Assume the Nadu position (you can search the web to find many pictures, the following is a description of the position as I teach it): kneeling, your knees spread, your back straight, your chest out and beautiful, your eyes lowered, your head up, the palms of your hands facing up on top of each knee.
Use your preferred hand - in most people it is their right hand - and softly caress the shaved softness of your pubic mound (if you are not shaved, I highly recommend that you do shave). Spend time enjoying the feelings and then trace a line up the center of your body and caress your body softly; very, very softly.
Start with your hand gently lying upon your collar bone and take a slow meandering path, never the same one twice, down between your legs, and let the excitement of knowing you are going to touch yourself build as you drive down. Slowly and tenderly caress your clit and tenderly trace the outline of your lips. Then come back to your clit, touching it and caressing it however makes you feel the best, stay there for a while, enjoy every sensation: fingers, clit, heart beat, breath, smell. Focus on every single sensation.
Now take a moment to caress your breasts and nipples with your other hand. Make tender love to them, don't rush it – it's all about slow supple strokes that bring total enjoyment and sensuality to you. Think of your Dominant guiding you through each step. Make sure that you are not loosing the sense of "self" you developed in the relaxation that preceded this part of the ritual. The sense that you are a complete woman, with all the wonderful differences that make you who you are and what you are, and all of it allows you to fully relax accepting your strength as a woman, and a submissive. Feel the softness of your flesh, the tenderness of your breasts, the different texture of your areola, the mounting hardness of your nipple as you take it between your index finger and thumb. Give it a gentle squeeze, and match that squeeze with your other hand on your clit.
Let the hand that was caressing and exploring your breast gently travel down your belly, down your inner thigh and come to rest on your knee, palm up and fingers relaxed.
Use your other hand, the one that's caressing your clit to trace down slowly around your lips and part them softly; as softly as you would part the petals of a rose in early summer. Use your nails to softly caress the entrance to your body, the opening to the pleasures you've known. This time, take the time to feel the softness and wetness with your finger tips. Trade the focus from your fingers to the wet flesh of the entrance to your body.
Trace it slowly and enjoy the sensation as you allow one finger to slide inside you. Focus your relaxed mind on the sensation of your fingertip, and try to feel exactly what is happening inside you. Let the finger slide deeper and deeper, but before you move deeper each time, focus on the location, the sensation of your fingertip, and the sensation of your inner flesh.
Once you reach the full depth of your finger inside you, feel the moistness that's there. Feel how your body is responding to your own gentle touch. Then begin to explore again by curling your finger up; feel the soft ridges that are there and press with exploration in mind. Find a spot that feels good, and take the time to find exactly where it is and how your fingertip feels, how your inner flesh feels, how moist you are, how warm your body feels. Focus on the pleasure and see how far you can trace it [your own self pleasure] in your mind and then move from that spot. Try to find the next location that feels good and then compare it to the previous one.
Keep exploring and keep bringing yourself closer and closer to an orgasm. Don't just take the first place that feels good. You are on a journey to find the best place –for today– that your body has, and once you find it, make a mental note of where it is, how it feels and what makes it feel better as well as what makes the intensity relax.
If at any point in this exploration you are ready to have an orgasm, keep the following thought in mind: "Master, may i cum this time?" and then hear His response for the first three (3) times saying, "No, little one, not yet." As the urge to cum grows in intensity, take three cleansing breaths and focus on relaxing and driving back the fires of orgasm that you've unleashed. The say to yourself, out loud – but you may whisper if you prefer – "Master(this is "your" master, not me),you are right, i have much more pleasure available to me if I simply obey your wishes!" then take three more breaths if necessary, and begin again to climb.
I want you to then caress your clit, ever so gently, not to send too many shocks and shivers through your body. Then, when your clit can accept it, take the hood of it between your thumb and forefinger and gently stroke it back and forth. This will take some practice, but the frustration will be an erotic frustration and you'll enjoy it. Take your other hand and caress your face, your lips, your neck and then down to your breasts. As you stroke your clit, also pinch your nipples a bit harder each few minutes and wash the pain into a pleasure mixed with your clitoral sensations.
Let your body climb back up till you are near an orgasm again and repeat what I told you earlier. Keep it slow, keep it gentle and keep it as a journey, not as a goal to cum. You'll learn and explore much more this way.
After the third time, allow yourself to come down one last time, and then begin anew to bring yourself to orgasmic pleasure. This time when you ask if you may cum, you'll hear your Master tell you, "Yes, little one, cum and count the waves that course through your body." At that point, let the orgasm wash over you. Don't push it out of your body; allow for the pleasure of release and its joyful exodus from your body. Focus on every sensation, catalogue them in your mind and just let go.
As you cum, count the various waves, notice their intensity, their ebb and their flow. Then when you are done, focus on staying fully relaxed.
Do this ritual no less than 3 times a week for 3 weeks. Once you find the control you seek, test it. Test it by hearing me say, upon the forth time "Yes, little one, but only 2 waves this time". See if you can find a way to accomplish this for your Master. You will be reaching a higher plane of submission, when you realize that your Master has control (control you've learned and given to your Master) over your own orgasm – even in the middle of your explosion.
Once you achieve that relaxing thought, drive it home by taking in a slow and deep breath through your nose, and then release it out your mouth just as slowly. Do that three times, and you have taken 3 cleansing breaths. It takes practice, so do this every few hours for a full day, until you feel you are actually getting a hint of what relaxation is.
Now you are ready to start the relaxation technique.
Take three (3) cleansing breaths. Now I want you to think about the top of your head. Many people don't realize that tension often starts in the little muscles of the scalp, so I want you to think about those little muscles and the skin of your scalp and just allow them to let go and relax...
A trick to try if you can't get the feel of relaxation that I'm talking about, is to do the opposite; Tighten those little muscles as hard as you can, hold for a full 30 seconds until it starts to feel normal, then relax them with a calm cleansing breath to accentuate the relaxed feeling. Now you got it, and you know how relaxed – as opposed to tense – feels.
Now just let all the muscles of your face go slack...
Then move to your forehead and your eyes and eyelids...
Keep going to the cheeks, mouth and jaw muscles...
It's a wonderful feeling when you let your face totally relax, because you can actually feel the skin settling, smoothing out...
This complete relaxation might mean that your mouth opens slightly, but whatever's most natural to you, just let it happen...
Unclench your teeth and relax your tongue, because the more you physically relax, the more you can mentally relax...
Now, think about your neck and shoulder muscles and into the tops of your arms, letting all tensions drain away as you think on down through your elbows...
Think down into your forearms... down through your wrists and into your hands... all the way down into the very tips of your fingers and tips of your thumbs... just letting all those muscles let go and relax...
And now, think about your breathing, noticing that you're breathing even more steadily, even more slowly, as you relax more and more, so you can let any tension in the chest area simply drain away as you think on down to your stomach muscles, letting those muscles relax, too...
Think down into your back now, the long muscles on either side of the spine, just let those muscles relax... and your waist... and your main thigh muscles, as you think on down through your knees, down through the shins and calves, just allowing all those areas to relax and let go, as you think on down through your ankles, through your feet, into the very tips of your toes... all the muscles of your body beautifully relaxed and easy... very lazy...
Keep these sensations going for 10-minutes. It'll be hard at first, but with practice you'll master it. Once you do, you will be able to summon the relaxed feeling upon your mental command (or you Dom's command), where you'll take a nice cleansing breath and sink into a fully relaxed mode; open to anything.
When you are done, take 3 more cleansing breaths and then slowly bring yourself out, to finish with a soft stretching motion. As they show you in yoga, walk your back all around, and concentrate on the relaxed feeling of the muscles.
Once you've mastered the first portion of this exercise (and you should practice it several times until you have it clearly in your mind), expand it to a full ritual and the orgasm control training exercise by doing the following:
Before you start this ritual, check how long it takes you to have an orgasm. If it takes you 5 minutes, then set the time for this exercise's first orgasm at no less than 10 minutes – in other words, double the time it normally takes. I'd actually prefer that you triple it, but I'm not sure the first time you'll have the patience – but try it just for the fun of it.
Assume the Nadu position (you can search the web to find many pictures, the following is a description of the position as I teach it): kneeling, your knees spread, your back straight, your chest out and beautiful, your eyes lowered, your head up, the palms of your hands facing up on top of each knee.
Use your preferred hand - in most people it is their right hand - and softly caress the shaved softness of your pubic mound (if you are not shaved, I highly recommend that you do shave). Spend time enjoying the feelings and then trace a line up the center of your body and caress your body softly; very, very softly.
Start with your hand gently lying upon your collar bone and take a slow meandering path, never the same one twice, down between your legs, and let the excitement of knowing you are going to touch yourself build as you drive down. Slowly and tenderly caress your clit and tenderly trace the outline of your lips. Then come back to your clit, touching it and caressing it however makes you feel the best, stay there for a while, enjoy every sensation: fingers, clit, heart beat, breath, smell. Focus on every single sensation.
Now take a moment to caress your breasts and nipples with your other hand. Make tender love to them, don't rush it – it's all about slow supple strokes that bring total enjoyment and sensuality to you. Think of your Dominant guiding you through each step. Make sure that you are not loosing the sense of "self" you developed in the relaxation that preceded this part of the ritual. The sense that you are a complete woman, with all the wonderful differences that make you who you are and what you are, and all of it allows you to fully relax accepting your strength as a woman, and a submissive. Feel the softness of your flesh, the tenderness of your breasts, the different texture of your areola, the mounting hardness of your nipple as you take it between your index finger and thumb. Give it a gentle squeeze, and match that squeeze with your other hand on your clit.
Let the hand that was caressing and exploring your breast gently travel down your belly, down your inner thigh and come to rest on your knee, palm up and fingers relaxed.
Use your other hand, the one that's caressing your clit to trace down slowly around your lips and part them softly; as softly as you would part the petals of a rose in early summer. Use your nails to softly caress the entrance to your body, the opening to the pleasures you've known. This time, take the time to feel the softness and wetness with your finger tips. Trade the focus from your fingers to the wet flesh of the entrance to your body.
Trace it slowly and enjoy the sensation as you allow one finger to slide inside you. Focus your relaxed mind on the sensation of your fingertip, and try to feel exactly what is happening inside you. Let the finger slide deeper and deeper, but before you move deeper each time, focus on the location, the sensation of your fingertip, and the sensation of your inner flesh.
Once you reach the full depth of your finger inside you, feel the moistness that's there. Feel how your body is responding to your own gentle touch. Then begin to explore again by curling your finger up; feel the soft ridges that are there and press with exploration in mind. Find a spot that feels good, and take the time to find exactly where it is and how your fingertip feels, how your inner flesh feels, how moist you are, how warm your body feels. Focus on the pleasure and see how far you can trace it [your own self pleasure] in your mind and then move from that spot. Try to find the next location that feels good and then compare it to the previous one.
Keep exploring and keep bringing yourself closer and closer to an orgasm. Don't just take the first place that feels good. You are on a journey to find the best place –for today– that your body has, and once you find it, make a mental note of where it is, how it feels and what makes it feel better as well as what makes the intensity relax.
If at any point in this exploration you are ready to have an orgasm, keep the following thought in mind: "Master, may i cum this time?" and then hear His response for the first three (3) times saying, "No, little one, not yet." As the urge to cum grows in intensity, take three cleansing breaths and focus on relaxing and driving back the fires of orgasm that you've unleashed. The say to yourself, out loud – but you may whisper if you prefer – "Master(this is "your" master, not me),you are right, i have much more pleasure available to me if I simply obey your wishes!" then take three more breaths if necessary, and begin again to climb.
I want you to then caress your clit, ever so gently, not to send too many shocks and shivers through your body. Then, when your clit can accept it, take the hood of it between your thumb and forefinger and gently stroke it back and forth. This will take some practice, but the frustration will be an erotic frustration and you'll enjoy it. Take your other hand and caress your face, your lips, your neck and then down to your breasts. As you stroke your clit, also pinch your nipples a bit harder each few minutes and wash the pain into a pleasure mixed with your clitoral sensations.
Let your body climb back up till you are near an orgasm again and repeat what I told you earlier. Keep it slow, keep it gentle and keep it as a journey, not as a goal to cum. You'll learn and explore much more this way.
After the third time, allow yourself to come down one last time, and then begin anew to bring yourself to orgasmic pleasure. This time when you ask if you may cum, you'll hear your Master tell you, "Yes, little one, cum and count the waves that course through your body." At that point, let the orgasm wash over you. Don't push it out of your body; allow for the pleasure of release and its joyful exodus from your body. Focus on every sensation, catalogue them in your mind and just let go.
As you cum, count the various waves, notice their intensity, their ebb and their flow. Then when you are done, focus on staying fully relaxed.
Do this ritual no less than 3 times a week for 3 weeks. Once you find the control you seek, test it. Test it by hearing me say, upon the forth time "Yes, little one, but only 2 waves this time". See if you can find a way to accomplish this for your Master. You will be reaching a higher plane of submission, when you realize that your Master has control (control you've learned and given to your Master) over your own orgasm – even in the middle of your explosion.
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