My orgasm, then and now
My first wet dreams came when I was young, maybe about 9. I start to awaken, barely conscious, and aware that something thrilling was happening between my legs. My mom had prepared me for sex. She just called it "the most wonderful thing two people in love can do with each other". Having that expectation in advance set off bright lights inside me. "This is what she's talking about," I told myself.
It was maybe a couple years later that I started to masturbate. Between first wet dream orgasms and induced ones I remained alert to when there were signs that it was beginning, without my help. These have always been my most fulfilling orgasmic experiences. Don't do anything much to induce an orgasm, or as little as possible. Focus on the sensations as they build deep inside me, between my legs. Those many seconds before the explosive coming begins are my biggest treasure. Sometimes I'll focus only on the sensations. Lying on my back, my dick growing stiffer and stiffer, I'll look down my chest, my abs and strong legs spread wide and imagine what's inside there that's starting the electric fullness of me.
These experiences of edging I control mostly with my mind. I'll say to myself, "three times to the edge of orgasm, then I'll make it release". I'll plan the orgasm to include the release action. Like, the gentlest possible caressing of my (male) tits. I begin these explosive sessions with breast massage, sometimes in the shower. Stimulation while soaping myself all over. Especially when massaging the bar of soap over my breasts, followed by my soapy fingers on wonderfully soft and sensitive nipples, feeling them grow hard under my fingers, and lightly, lightly, my fingernails. Then let the shower spray adds to the pleasure. Follow similar stimulation by massaging the slippery penis head in ways I would not be able tolerate without soap. Cap it off with a towel that nearly makes me come.
This is often the first edging. I'm breathless at that point and welcome a cool-down before beginning the next edging.
My mood tells me if this is a day for privacy in this experience. Not always. I've invited my wife to participate sometimes. I ask her to "just enjoy the scene". She's a horney girl and loves being part of an experience that few women get to witness. Watching her rising to arousal vicariously adds to my pleasure. There have been times I've walked her through my experience with talk that so honest and sexually aroused that she can't help but strip and come with me, neither of us touching each other with more than our eyes.
The goal for me in these edge-and-come sessions is to internalize the experience and make it as memorable as possible. I reach it through extreme self-awareness. It's a different world than intercourse with my wife, where what we do together is somewhat different from what I feel during self-pleasure.
So just what is my orgasm? After the third edging I will settle into a special place, a favorite chair, the bed, the sofa, or outdoors in one of many private spaces I've saved for myself in Hawaii's year-round tropical weather. I clear my mind from everything but orgasm. I take my view of my body, how it's put together, how good every part of me feels, the softness of my skin with lotion and oils I've applied, and the firmness of the musculature under my skin. All comes alive. I bring focus to everything about me that is physical. I zero my concentration to the middle of my body, and wait for the first, greatest and most exciting hints of the beginning orgasm.
As those hints show themselves I quiver. My legs involuntarily shake. My eyes stay open to watch myself orgasm. My voice comes alive as I greet the experience with joy.
The experience is enhanced if someone is watching. My wife loves to watch me come. (More on this experience for us during intercourse is coming -- keep reading!) I've also done this in a sex club of men, where I'm the least shy of all. This is sharing, not a performance. And so do the guys who share this orgasm of mine. What I show them inspires them to take themselves over the top, too. I love the surprise on the faces of many as they fly over the top of their own orgasm quite unexpectedly.
Hints of orgasm include release of precum. It flows from the head of my dick; it is not ejaculated. The flowing coats the sensitive head, having the purpose of making its entry to the woman smooth, easy and welcoming. Once firmly inside her, the come pulses and ejects itself into the vagina, or onto my waiting hands because I'm holding my hands to mimic vaginal sex.
During those moments of sexually peaking, all my muscles spasm and my voice cries out with the all-consuming pleasure I'm feeling. Most people who watch this can't help but come, too, if they are even somewhat aroused. I prepare them for this kind of mutual experience, to give them a chance to surprise themselves in this way.
What follows the active orgasm is enjoyment of all the relaxing chemicals and endorphins of pleasure. Muscles relax, quivering muscles continue into a quivering decline, and sleep can follow.
What is orgasm with my wife (I’m monogamous)? We have great variety in our sensual lives together, which I can share more fully another day. For this post, I’ll stay focused, perhaps selfishly, on my own orgasmic experiences. Because that’s the topic of the moment, something many men don’t share in detail as I’m doing for you.
Understanding orgasm with my women means going back to my teen years, time zero. The first was walking a beach with a summer visitor who I saw each year, daughter of friends of my folks. I was then at an age where I was sexually educated and prepared. I might have been 13 or 14. It was a romantic setting, after dark, gentle breeze, warm temperature. We held hands. We caress. We canoodle. I never learned for sure if the kiss that would obviously be welcomed by both of us was also her first. As I turned to face her and took her in my arms, my excitement built to the boiling point. She was hot, too. We kissed. And I had a powerful orgasm! Just from a kiss.
I was embarrassed. I didn’t tell her what had just happened. She didn’t seem to care, anyway. We had just shared one of any young person’s most memorable moments. Love and passion combined and fulfilled. We held it in our hearts forever, never took it further. My fantasy is that she cherishes this moment with the same sweet feelings that I have, decades later.
This unexpected and unplanned orgasm taught me something that took years to come to terms with about my body. I learned that my high level of sensitivity and sexual response made me a “premature ejaculator”. I taught myself, wrongly, to accept the shame associated with this reality about me. Now, so many years later, I’ve understood what I missed with quite a few women. It didn’t take long to learn from reading books about sexual responsiveness, that women needed more from me, and they needed it for longer. I found myself on a parallel path of accepting my hyper-sexuality in pleasuring myself while enjoying sex with women who didn’t mind that’s how I was. Perhaps my loss was not meeting any women who didn’t sense my shame and wanted to show me how to go more slowly to bring them to their most full levels of sexuality. Those decades weren’t as it is now: lovers back then generally didn’t achieve the levels of candor and sharing that prevail today.
One behavior I offered during intercourse fit well with my sensitive sexuality. I called it “watch me”. A woman’s delight was to profoundly dial into my orgasm and make her own orgasm a separate experience, either before or after me. If she chose to wait, she’d let me take my pleasure in her whole body. I’d touch and kiss her everywhere. Spread oil to make her skin, and mine, shine in ways we would adore, in ourselves, in each other, and when sexually coupling. I’ve used Albolene, a makeup remover, to lubricate the body’s parts that couple, and our breasts and nipples. (Unlike almost all other lubricants, Albolene stays slippery indefinitely and contains no irritating ingredients.)
When aroused a human body is exciting to watch. I love sharing myself with a welcoming partner. I’ll tell her all I appreciate about her body. Then I tell her how I’m going to inhabit her body with all of mine. To minimize the chance of an orgasm too early, I’ll tell her I’m going to take my pleasure with her slowly, gently and lovingly. If she’s a relatively new partner, I ask her not to be as physically active as she is with most men. Just watch me and share all the pleasure I’m experiencing with her. Then I place her gently on her back and take her in my arms. We kiss and pleasure together, but most of the activity originates with me. I want her to treasure and absorb all I offer her and watch me build toward my climax.
I narrate my experience with some of the clinical and a lot of the gratitude I feel for her being my sexual partner. Although I have her in my arms, I raise my torso from her so she can watch all the pleasure in my face as I float upward into sexual ecstasy. I haven’t entered her as yet, just being mindful of where I am on the orgasmic spectrum. “I’m going to enter you now, very slowly, OK,” is all I say at this point. I’m so hard that the angle of me usually matches the angle of her vagina without my hand or hers helping to find the entry. I know when I’m there, and gently, ever so gently enter her just far enough so she can squeeze the head of my penis as she wishes.
Few if any women can orgasm with only this much stimulation. It almost always takes a large measure of clitoral stimulation, with penetration being only a boost toward her climax. But I knew I’d found something remarkable when the woman who is now my wife became sexual with me. We do it as I’ve described this far, with the head of my penis in her and her vaginal muscles squeezing me consciously. I share my love and the details of what I’m experiencing. I ask her to “watch me”. Now I'm ready for the majesty of sex, all of it. I slide my penis, ever so gently, but with skill and confidence, into her. I go deep, all the way. I want the head of my erection to press lovingly against the end of her shaft, where the cervix is the doorway to the uterus. And at the point, when I'm planted and she sees I'm so ready, then she wishes orgasm for herself -- and she joins me, and I watch her rise toward her orgasm with me.
I’m older now. More sexually experienced and less easily triggered. So from the point of my entry into her I can stay with her until her vaginal musculature switches out of voluntary mode. We watch each other’s orgasms build. And in those moments we lose ourselves to each other in passion and love. Steadily and with intent and love, we take each other to heaven's boundaries, and maybe beyond.
Having a quiet place for all of this is special. We live where neighbors are too far away to hear us, and nobody is likely to be walking by. So, we can vocalize our joy and pleasure as loudly as our spirits wish us to be.
We hardly know which of us triggers the other. But the orgasms take off inside ourselves. The sensations are the ultimate sharing. My orgasm is causing yours. Your orgasm has triggered mine. I'm in ecstasy with my body. I’m giving my orgasm to you, and I’m absorbing yours. We each watch the pleasure wash over the other and don’t hold back anything. All that we are as human animals is ours to share.
So this story tells the happiness of my orgasm. Of a boy’s first wet dream, through compensating for a hair trigger with self-pleasure, through multiple experiences with women, to the present thrill of a complete sexual match, a key to marriage and any thought that the heavens can ever contemplate offering me more. I have it all now, and it's all either of us could ask for.
It was maybe a couple years later that I started to masturbate. Between first wet dream orgasms and induced ones I remained alert to when there were signs that it was beginning, without my help. These have always been my most fulfilling orgasmic experiences. Don't do anything much to induce an orgasm, or as little as possible. Focus on the sensations as they build deep inside me, between my legs. Those many seconds before the explosive coming begins are my biggest treasure. Sometimes I'll focus only on the sensations. Lying on my back, my dick growing stiffer and stiffer, I'll look down my chest, my abs and strong legs spread wide and imagine what's inside there that's starting the electric fullness of me.
These experiences of edging I control mostly with my mind. I'll say to myself, "three times to the edge of orgasm, then I'll make it release". I'll plan the orgasm to include the release action. Like, the gentlest possible caressing of my (male) tits. I begin these explosive sessions with breast massage, sometimes in the shower. Stimulation while soaping myself all over. Especially when massaging the bar of soap over my breasts, followed by my soapy fingers on wonderfully soft and sensitive nipples, feeling them grow hard under my fingers, and lightly, lightly, my fingernails. Then let the shower spray adds to the pleasure. Follow similar stimulation by massaging the slippery penis head in ways I would not be able tolerate without soap. Cap it off with a towel that nearly makes me come.
This is often the first edging. I'm breathless at that point and welcome a cool-down before beginning the next edging.
My mood tells me if this is a day for privacy in this experience. Not always. I've invited my wife to participate sometimes. I ask her to "just enjoy the scene". She's a horney girl and loves being part of an experience that few women get to witness. Watching her rising to arousal vicariously adds to my pleasure. There have been times I've walked her through my experience with talk that so honest and sexually aroused that she can't help but strip and come with me, neither of us touching each other with more than our eyes.
The goal for me in these edge-and-come sessions is to internalize the experience and make it as memorable as possible. I reach it through extreme self-awareness. It's a different world than intercourse with my wife, where what we do together is somewhat different from what I feel during self-pleasure.
So just what is my orgasm? After the third edging I will settle into a special place, a favorite chair, the bed, the sofa, or outdoors in one of many private spaces I've saved for myself in Hawaii's year-round tropical weather. I clear my mind from everything but orgasm. I take my view of my body, how it's put together, how good every part of me feels, the softness of my skin with lotion and oils I've applied, and the firmness of the musculature under my skin. All comes alive. I bring focus to everything about me that is physical. I zero my concentration to the middle of my body, and wait for the first, greatest and most exciting hints of the beginning orgasm.
As those hints show themselves I quiver. My legs involuntarily shake. My eyes stay open to watch myself orgasm. My voice comes alive as I greet the experience with joy.
The experience is enhanced if someone is watching. My wife loves to watch me come. (More on this experience for us during intercourse is coming -- keep reading!) I've also done this in a sex club of men, where I'm the least shy of all. This is sharing, not a performance. And so do the guys who share this orgasm of mine. What I show them inspires them to take themselves over the top, too. I love the surprise on the faces of many as they fly over the top of their own orgasm quite unexpectedly.
Hints of orgasm include release of precum. It flows from the head of my dick; it is not ejaculated. The flowing coats the sensitive head, having the purpose of making its entry to the woman smooth, easy and welcoming. Once firmly inside her, the come pulses and ejects itself into the vagina, or onto my waiting hands because I'm holding my hands to mimic vaginal sex.
During those moments of sexually peaking, all my muscles spasm and my voice cries out with the all-consuming pleasure I'm feeling. Most people who watch this can't help but come, too, if they are even somewhat aroused. I prepare them for this kind of mutual experience, to give them a chance to surprise themselves in this way.
What follows the active orgasm is enjoyment of all the relaxing chemicals and endorphins of pleasure. Muscles relax, quivering muscles continue into a quivering decline, and sleep can follow.
What is orgasm with my wife (I’m monogamous)? We have great variety in our sensual lives together, which I can share more fully another day. For this post, I’ll stay focused, perhaps selfishly, on my own orgasmic experiences. Because that’s the topic of the moment, something many men don’t share in detail as I’m doing for you.
Understanding orgasm with my women means going back to my teen years, time zero. The first was walking a beach with a summer visitor who I saw each year, daughter of friends of my folks. I was then at an age where I was sexually educated and prepared. I might have been 13 or 14. It was a romantic setting, after dark, gentle breeze, warm temperature. We held hands. We caress. We canoodle. I never learned for sure if the kiss that would obviously be welcomed by both of us was also her first. As I turned to face her and took her in my arms, my excitement built to the boiling point. She was hot, too. We kissed. And I had a powerful orgasm! Just from a kiss.
I was embarrassed. I didn’t tell her what had just happened. She didn’t seem to care, anyway. We had just shared one of any young person’s most memorable moments. Love and passion combined and fulfilled. We held it in our hearts forever, never took it further. My fantasy is that she cherishes this moment with the same sweet feelings that I have, decades later.
This unexpected and unplanned orgasm taught me something that took years to come to terms with about my body. I learned that my high level of sensitivity and sexual response made me a “premature ejaculator”. I taught myself, wrongly, to accept the shame associated with this reality about me. Now, so many years later, I’ve understood what I missed with quite a few women. It didn’t take long to learn from reading books about sexual responsiveness, that women needed more from me, and they needed it for longer. I found myself on a parallel path of accepting my hyper-sexuality in pleasuring myself while enjoying sex with women who didn’t mind that’s how I was. Perhaps my loss was not meeting any women who didn’t sense my shame and wanted to show me how to go more slowly to bring them to their most full levels of sexuality. Those decades weren’t as it is now: lovers back then generally didn’t achieve the levels of candor and sharing that prevail today.
One behavior I offered during intercourse fit well with my sensitive sexuality. I called it “watch me”. A woman’s delight was to profoundly dial into my orgasm and make her own orgasm a separate experience, either before or after me. If she chose to wait, she’d let me take my pleasure in her whole body. I’d touch and kiss her everywhere. Spread oil to make her skin, and mine, shine in ways we would adore, in ourselves, in each other, and when sexually coupling. I’ve used Albolene, a makeup remover, to lubricate the body’s parts that couple, and our breasts and nipples. (Unlike almost all other lubricants, Albolene stays slippery indefinitely and contains no irritating ingredients.)
When aroused a human body is exciting to watch. I love sharing myself with a welcoming partner. I’ll tell her all I appreciate about her body. Then I tell her how I’m going to inhabit her body with all of mine. To minimize the chance of an orgasm too early, I’ll tell her I’m going to take my pleasure with her slowly, gently and lovingly. If she’s a relatively new partner, I ask her not to be as physically active as she is with most men. Just watch me and share all the pleasure I’m experiencing with her. Then I place her gently on her back and take her in my arms. We kiss and pleasure together, but most of the activity originates with me. I want her to treasure and absorb all I offer her and watch me build toward my climax.
I narrate my experience with some of the clinical and a lot of the gratitude I feel for her being my sexual partner. Although I have her in my arms, I raise my torso from her so she can watch all the pleasure in my face as I float upward into sexual ecstasy. I haven’t entered her as yet, just being mindful of where I am on the orgasmic spectrum. “I’m going to enter you now, very slowly, OK,” is all I say at this point. I’m so hard that the angle of me usually matches the angle of her vagina without my hand or hers helping to find the entry. I know when I’m there, and gently, ever so gently enter her just far enough so she can squeeze the head of my penis as she wishes.
Few if any women can orgasm with only this much stimulation. It almost always takes a large measure of clitoral stimulation, with penetration being only a boost toward her climax. But I knew I’d found something remarkable when the woman who is now my wife became sexual with me. We do it as I’ve described this far, with the head of my penis in her and her vaginal muscles squeezing me consciously. I share my love and the details of what I’m experiencing. I ask her to “watch me”. Now I'm ready for the majesty of sex, all of it. I slide my penis, ever so gently, but with skill and confidence, into her. I go deep, all the way. I want the head of my erection to press lovingly against the end of her shaft, where the cervix is the doorway to the uterus. And at the point, when I'm planted and she sees I'm so ready, then she wishes orgasm for herself -- and she joins me, and I watch her rise toward her orgasm with me.
I’m older now. More sexually experienced and less easily triggered. So from the point of my entry into her I can stay with her until her vaginal musculature switches out of voluntary mode. We watch each other’s orgasms build. And in those moments we lose ourselves to each other in passion and love. Steadily and with intent and love, we take each other to heaven's boundaries, and maybe beyond.
Having a quiet place for all of this is special. We live where neighbors are too far away to hear us, and nobody is likely to be walking by. So, we can vocalize our joy and pleasure as loudly as our spirits wish us to be.
We hardly know which of us triggers the other. But the orgasms take off inside ourselves. The sensations are the ultimate sharing. My orgasm is causing yours. Your orgasm has triggered mine. I'm in ecstasy with my body. I’m giving my orgasm to you, and I’m absorbing yours. We each watch the pleasure wash over the other and don’t hold back anything. All that we are as human animals is ours to share.
So this story tells the happiness of my orgasm. Of a boy’s first wet dream, through compensating for a hair trigger with self-pleasure, through multiple experiences with women, to the present thrill of a complete sexual match, a key to marriage and any thought that the heavens can ever contemplate offering me more. I have it all now, and it's all either of us could ask for.
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